What do I mean?
Words have power to uplift or diminish. Once said, they cannot be taken back. They can be softened, to be sure, but never taken back.
Writing, then, is a safe way to say our words. We can edit them before we say them out loud, before we share them with our readers and friends. We have choices with writing.
We think before we speak.
This is not to say that we never express the low tones or negative emotions. We find a way that does not destroy the other person or ourselves when we do express them.
In the Hawaiian culture there is the concept of Ho'oponopono that states:
~ "We shall extend and display respect to all others which reflects our own appreciation of humanity. We shall carry our pride quietly, neither boasting of ourselves nor speaking badly of others - often a dishonest method of self-praise. Yet we must be unashamed of our principles and honest in our criticisms.” ~ Hawaiian Code of Conduct
But what do we do if our draft writing is coming out negatively and could serve to diminish another? We see this negativity and the will to diminish in our politics today. Has not Twitter become a tool by a few to spew negativity daily? I believe it is important for us to use our words to heal rather than divide and destroy.
I studied and practiced Feldenkrais for 7 years before moving to Missouri. I was and am so interested in working with people. The Healing Touch training and volunteer work in the local hospital and infusion room was not hands on. I did enjoy the 2 years that I studied Healing Touch, but in my Feldenkrais training, over a 4 year period, I began to see that there is so much stored in our bodies, brains, nervous systems to which we have little access. Being able to feel into someone and connect our nervous systems, I learned that patterns can leave the muscles and movement is easier. Working with one 8 year old who has cerebral palsy, I noted that as we worked and were able to get her eyes, swallowing and movements coordinated, she could say words. Over the course of six months she said 6 distinct words. I realize now how much we take our ability to communicate for granted.
As writers, artists and humans do we continually work within our abilities to let these low tones and the emotions from which they came leave the body? I believe we do. I know that I do and at the same time I am seeking to transform whatever is sad in myself.
There are good and safe ways to take that life long journey to the self. I am using my art and words to help me transform what rises from the sad place. When these feelings and memory patterns arise we can all face them and then share from a place of understanding. We are beginning to understand ourselves better. Perhaps, in our own way, we can capture what it is to be human. Then our words will come from the high tones of wisdom and compassion. We become authentic.
I recall that Alice Miller in her book, The Body Never Lies, tells us a Truth on p.21 of that book. “When children are born, what they need most from their parents is love, by which I mean: affection attention care protection kindness and willingness to communicate. If these needs are gratified, the bodies of those children will retain the good memory of such caring affection all their lives…” She shares that these lucky children will grow into adults for whom non-violent communication is the norm. They hold to their principles, are honest in their criticism, and they extend respect naturally. (The reference to a difficult subject in Alice Miller's writing is only meant to show that anyone can grow into an authentic, caring, and involved adult)
There is great hope in this idea that we can give ourselves, our readers, our friends these things: affection, attention, care, protection, kindness and a willingness to communicate.
Is this not what we aim for as writers? Is this not what a blog is for in the ideal? In the ideal, we want our willingness to communicate and our hope to build community by sharing our light and who we are at our core to have an audience. We share the value of the intentional time to re-connect with our readers, our friends, our virtual community.
This is why our words can uplift our world and someone else’s world as well.
